I cockslap morals
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
