are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
