just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize