Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Where is the hickey?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The struggles of a small town man whore
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize