Rock
Scissors
Fuck
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
