I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize