Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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