im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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