he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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