Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Randomize
