i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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