I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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