I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
