saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
