i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
