his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
