I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
