Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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