Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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