doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
