If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
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