I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
