we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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