you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
