why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
