think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Drunk is not a location!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
