Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
