just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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