i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
