My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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