It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Jerry, you need to find god
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
