the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
