You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
