i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
