Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
