I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
A+ Viking dick
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
