So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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