So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
