I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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