If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
