Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
