Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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