How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Use "feeling words"
Yay
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
