this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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