ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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