I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
