Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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