chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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