Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
