I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Randomize
