Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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