You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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