Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
