So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
