O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
