I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
