There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
