Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
We left an ass print on the piano.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
