No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
