So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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